


Silica

by deepestbluest



Category: Naruto
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, Getting Together, M/M, Mutual Pining, Post-Shippuden, Sibling Bonding, kishimoto did temari (and shikamaru) dirty and i’m here to unfuck his mess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-23
Updated: 2020-01-23
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:47:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22367416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deepestbluest/pseuds/deepestbluest
Summary: The best consolation for knowing your love life is in shambles is knowing your siblings aren't doing any better.
Relationships: Gaara/Rock Lee, Inuzuka Kiba/Kankurou, Nara Shikamaru/Temari
Comments: 46
Kudos: 417





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't tried Boruto, so let's just say everyone's in their early 20s and set aside the future children
> 
> Content warning: Kankurō and Kiba's sexual relationship is consensual but initially self-destructive

The chūnin exams feel like a lifetime ago. Lee hardly notices the scars from his fight with Gaara and the operations that followed; he’s got so many scars now, he doesn’t feel much of anything when he sees any of them.

If the burn scars are unique, then it’s purely a matter of aesthetic.

Lee is stronger now. He can open most of the gates and trains so he can open them all if he has to, but even coming this far is an achievement he’s proud of. He can protect his friends. He stand on even ground with geniuses, and he can beat them.

Turning his head to look at Gaara where he’s lying next to him on the giant bed in Gaara’s room, Lee can see Gaara’s progress as well.

“Hey, Gaara?”

Gaara opens his eyes and turns to look at Lee. He looks exhausted, as he always has, but he’s softer around the edges. The murderous intent that used to radiate from him isn’t gone; Lee doubts it ever will be. Gaara is still quiet and odd, and he doesn’t read people well- he doesn’t interested in learning, either.

He's a great kazekage, though. He’s powerful and protective and driven. Suna will flourish under his hand.

An enemy once, he saved Lee’s life and fought beside Konoha because it was right; if anyone can prove the resilience and goodness of the human spirit, Gaara can.

He’s a good friend.

Better than a friend, really.

“Lee?”

“Sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking,” Lee admits, face heating. He knows exactly what he was thinking- he wanted Gaara’s attention. Now that he has it, though, he isn’t sure what to do with it. It’s too easy to get Gaara to look at him, and Lee wants him to keep looking.

There’s no good way to explain that to Gaara.

Well, there is, but it would require being honest about something Lee can’t make himself say.

He misses his the security of his usual clothes. He kept overheating, though, and Shikamaru, who’s in charge of this phase of their inter-village relations, had showed up in the training grounds a few days ago with a loose, long sleeved shirt and pants with orders from Temari that Lee was to wear them until someone in Suna lowered themselves to making a second jumpsuit.

Lee doesn’t mind the dig, and the new clothes are surprisingly comfortable- they’re actually very light and cooler than his usual uniform.

Gaara frowns, studying him. “I see.”

“You see? You see what?”

“I thought you might want to continue where you left off last time you were here.”

Lee’s face burns. He hadn’t meant to do… that. He’d been sitting on Gaara’s bed as they brainstormed ways to establish an exchange program between Konoha and Suna that would introduce the students to different battle settings without compromising either village’s homeland advantage.

It had been very interesting, and Lee still isn’t sure how he went from thinking aloud about monitored survival training to kissing Gaara.

Temari had thrown the door open before Lee could read Gaara’s reaction, and he hadn’t had time afterwards as she loudly announced that Lee should take his useless friends back to Konoha before they get murdered.

Gaara had told Lee that it would be wise to listen to her in his usual even voice, so Lee had run in the direction Temari had pointed out, grabbed Shikamaru and Kiba, and dragged them out by their wrists.

Neither had been willing to explain what he’d done, but Shikamaru had looked miserable rather than bored and Akamaru hadn’t moved more than a few feet away from Kiba for a week.

Temari had sent their belongings and enough supplies to get them to Konoha, at least.

Now that Lee’s back in Suna, he’s been waiting for Gaara to give him some sort of sign, only for Gaara to act as if nothing happened.

Until now.

Lee stumbles over himself in his haste to explain. “I wouldn’t- That is- I’m very sorry! It shouldn’t have happened like- Unless you want- But I wouldn’t ask you to- If you did want to though- So-”

He keeps tripping over his own tongue, trying to find the right words but coming up empty, until Gaara says, “Oh. I didn’t tell you.”

“Didn’t tell me what?”

“I locked the door this time so my sister can’t disturb us.”

He says it so frankly, it takes Lee a minute to realize Gaara is joking.

“Gaara!” Lee throws his arms over his face and tries to sulk, but he's too worked up. “You aren’t mad, right?”

“Why would I be mad?”

“I mean… kissing you out of nowhere like that… and you have so much to do as kazekage, you know?” Lee moves one arm so he can peer out at Gaara. “And you didn’t say anything, so I thought maybe you hated it…”

Gaara sighs and reaches for Lee’s arm. His cheeks are pink, which calm some of the turmoil in Lee’s chest.

“Lee,” he says, “I’ve been trying to get you to kiss me for more than a year.”

Lee drops his arms. “You what?”

“I like you.” Gaara frowns like the words feel weird; they probably do. “I’m… glad that you kissed me. You should do it again.”

“Oh!”

It’s harder now that he’s thinking about it, but Lee scoots closer and Gaara leans in, and that’s all it takes.

Lee can feel himself smiling, but it’s Gaara’s smile that makes him want to jump in the air.

“Hey, Gaara?”

“If you’re going to ask if you can kiss me again, you should just do it.”

Lee kisses him again.

It's easier than he’d thought it would be. Gaara is Suna’s terrifying kazekage, but he was Lee’s friend first. He’s the reason Suna and Konoha became allies again, but he’s also the guy who’s happiest to see Lee.

He’s been making Lee’s heart race for a long time, and finally getting to kiss him without fear of being hated is a relief.

Gaara doesn’t let him consider moving away. He puts a hand in Lee’s hair, mumbles something like “soft”, and kisses him.

Lee’s hand shakes as he touches Gaara’s face, and Gaara says, “You’ve never been scared of me before.”

It isn’t fear making Lee shake. Gaara kisses him again, and explaining the difference doesn’t matter anymore.

It’s Gaara’s idea to climb on top of Lee, but Lee is happy to help. Gaara is sturdier than he looks, and when he looks down at Lee, his mouth is curving into a rare smile. He leans down before Lee can comment on it.

His hands are hot where they’re touching Lee. 

Lee puts his own on Gaara’s hips and would gladly stay like that, kissing Gaara and being kissed by Gaara, but even with his new clothes, he’s overheating. He keeps one hand on Gaara, holding him in place while tries to shrug out of one of the sleeves.

“Getting a little ahead of yourself, aren’t you?” Gaara asks.

It takes a moment for Lee to realize he’s being teased.

Lee’s face flushes. “It’s just very hot like this,” he explains. “I’m going to sweat through my clothes. I promise I’m not trying to rush or anything!”

“I know, and I can help. Kankurou overheard you telling Kiba how long it took you to figure out how to put these on.” Gaara kisses Lee’s cheek. “You’re very odd. That jumpsuit must be harder to take off.”

Back when they were genin, Gaara had been a person of mystery and fear.

Now, he’s Lee’s treasured friend. Holding him is better than becoming a chūnin that year would have felt.

 _Gaara likes me,_ Lee thinks to himself happily as Gaara gently lifts one of Lee’s arms out of the robe’s deep sleeves..

Lee expects Gaara to come back for another kiss, and he doesn’t, Lee looks up curiously.

Gaara won’t meet his eyes.

“Gaara? Are you-”

“I’m sorry. I just remembered something,” Gaara says stiffly, awkwardly shifting off first Lee then the edge of the bed. “It will take me some time, so don’t feel like you to stay here.”

Lee watches helplessly as Gaara makes a hasty retreat.

 _What did I do wrong?_ Lee worries as the door shuts firmly. _Why did he run away from me?_

* * *

Shikamaru’s dad told him once that with the right man, even the sharpest-edged woman will show her soft side.

In the moment, Shikamaru hadn’t believed it. His mom doesn’t have a soft side. She pushes Shikamaru and his dad around and rules the rest of the clan with a sharp tongue and clenched fist. She’s loud and angry, and Shikamaru wasn't convinced his dad hadn’t been bullied into marrying her instead of a normal woman. Until Shikamaru met Temari, he hadn’t been convinced his mom wasn’t a demon dressed like a woman.

He can’t forget the look on her face when his dad came back from the war, more dead than anything, and in the space of a moment, she’d looked like she’d just watched someone rip her guts out. She’d pushed past it in a blink, stuffing her guts back in and raising her voice as she shouted and threatened the medical-nin into action.

That look haunts Shikamaru.

“I told you,” his dad said the first time Shikamaru visited him in the hospital. “Your mom’s sharp edges aren’t there for nothing. She’s scary because she loves so much- if she yells at us enough, maybe we won’t get hurt. If we’d died in the war, she would have screamed her way into the afterlife and brought us back. I really thought you would’ve figured that out on your own by now.”

“How can I figure anything out with all these noisy women shouting at me…”

His dad hadn’t laughed. “Be careful, Shikamaru. Even stubborn women like that girlfriend of yours have limits. If you don’t take care of her, she’ll leave you. You’ll be forgotten and someone else will love her in your place.”

That was ages ago. Shikamaru is part of an envoy to Suna now, and as loudly as she shouts at him, Temari isn’t forgetting him any time soon. 

Her breath catches, and Shikamaru stops thinking about things that don’t matter.

It’s not like they haven’t done this before, he thinks as he pulls Temari’s tights down. They’ve been dating for ages, and he knows that if she wanted someone else, she wouldn’t hold onto him hard.

Shikamaru isn't holding it together much better, but he doesn’t have to acknowledge that as he rubs Temari’s clit without her clothes in the way.

She turns her head into his neck as he presses a finger in, and her fingers dig into his shoulders.

It took Shikamaru longer than it should have to figure out that Temari has a thing for getting pushed up against one of the walls in her bedroom. She doesn’t always want it this way, but when she does, she’s always extra pushy with him.

She should just tell him what she wants. Trying to figure out why his girlfriend is yelling at him over nothing is tiresome.

When she’s so angry she walks away, the world gets too quiet.

“You know,” Shikamaru says as he slides a second finger in. Temari’s breath comes faster against his neck, and for a moment, he gets caught up in the feeling of her breath on his skin and how wet she is around his fingers as he fucks her with them, and forgets what he was going to say.

She doesn’t want someone else. She’s saying his name and kissing his throat.

He’s taking care of her.

“What do I know?” Temari prompts.

Shikamaru shakes his head. “It’s nothing.”

Pulling back, Temari blinks at him. Shikamaru stops moving his hand. If he tries to distract her, she’ll snap at him and walk out, and he likes this part.

“You should say what you’re thinking,” she tells him. She reaches up with one hand and touches his cheek, her expression grave. “Even if it’s a pain, you should tell me.”

Shikamaru clears his throat. It’s unfair that Temari can tease him when he’s tripping over himself because of her. It’s hard enough to keep up with her when he isn’t struggling to keep cool. “I was just thinking that you look really good like this, is all,” he lies.

Not that she doesn’t look incredible. She does, and Shikamaru still isn’t totally sure why she wants him of all men.

He’d thought she was cold at first, but he’s wrong sometimes. Temari is as warm as people get; she’s just so tempestuous it seems like she’s angrier than she is. She blushes bright pink when she’s uncertain or embarrassed. She yells when she’s angry. She says his name because she wants him to come closer, and Shikamaru can’t find a reason not to.

As he looks down at her, she blushes and lays her head against his neck again. “Idiot,” she says, but the reproach is softened by the kiss she presses to his jaw. “You shouldn’t be so embarrassed about saying that anymore.”

He isn’t embarrassed about saying it, but Shikamaru can’t say so. If he did, he’d have to tell her the thought he’d actually been about to blurt.

“Sorry,” he tells her.

She nods, and despite the awkwardness of the situation Shikamaru created, she pushes her hips into his hand. He moves his fingers again and tries not to show how surprised he is that she can keep wanting him after that pathetic display.

How can she whisper, “Please,” into his ear when he’s a man who can’t even say what’s obvious? He can’t say he’s giving her what she needs when he’s getting hung up on something he knows she wants to hear.

It’s a good thing she wants him so much, though, he thinks, moving his fingers the way she likes. Maybe she won’t laugh at him if- when he tells her what he was actually thinking.

He won’t do it yet, though. Not when she’s panting his name and he’s pressing his thumb to her clit so she can fuck herself on his fingers however she wants. She won’t believe him if he says it when they’re like this.

She reaches down and strokes him through his pants, and Shikamaru bites his cheek. This is as far as they usually go, especially these days, when their schedules are so packed- his fingers inside her and her hand on him like this.

He won’t admit he’s afraid of embarrassing himself the next time she touches him without anything in the way. He won’t risk saying aloud how much he wants her to choose him even if he does. He won't beg her to fall in love with him so he doesn’t have to be so afraid of her looking for a man who’s better than he is.

She’s breathing hard, her legs are shaking, and Shikamaru turns to kiss her. Her hand tightens around him because Temari pays attention, too, and Shikamaru wants her to stay with him so much it hurts.

He makes her come before he does, and the way she gasps his name and pulls at him like she’ll die if he isn’t with her is terrifying.

When Temari makes him come, Shikamaru keeps his mouth clamped shut tight.

She’s got hard edges, and he isn’t ready to throw himself on them.

* * *

The closet is dark and cramped. Kiba tries not to think about it as a metaphor. He doesn’t have to try too hard; Kankurou’s got him pinned to the wall with a hand on Kiba’s belly and his mouth on Kiba’s cock.

It would be nice to do this where there’s light, Kiba thinks. Kankurou may be an arrogant pain in the ass, but he’s good looking. He’s funny, too, in a loud way, but he isn’t making Kiba laugh in here.

Getting off to memories from the various closets Kankurou has pushed him into would be easier if Kiba knew exactly how he looks when he’s kissing Kiba’s thighs and sucking him off.

The lights, like Akamaru, aren’t allowed.

The first time, they were in Konoha. Kankurou had been cranky since the Suna group’s arrival, and Kiba, in an attempt at getting him to relax, jokingly suggested it had been too long since Kankurou got laid.

He isn’t sure why, when Kankurou tensed up, he offered to help. He should have just laughed or told Kankurou about the bars where it’s easy to find someone who’s only interested in spending part of a night with you.

Kankurou had slowly looked him up and down, and Akamaru had huffed as he rolled onto his side.

Kiba definitely isn’t sure why he offered to help, and Akamaru definitely doesn’t know either.

His hands hurt from gripping the edge of the wooden shelf Kankurou pushed him into as soon as he pulled Kiba’s pants down, and his ass is probably going to have splinters he can’t ask a medical-nin to help remove. But Kankurou is on his knees, there are going to be hickeys low on Kiba’s belly, and Kiba can put up with splinters for the chance to touch Kankurou.

When he gets close, he says so, and Kankurou gets up and stands too close, his hand still stroking Kiba until Kiba comes with a shout he muffles with his palm.

If he has to be so quiet, he’d rather have Kankurou’s palm over his mouth, but he can’t ask for that. This is fragile. Kiba isn’t good with fragile. He doesn’t know how to ask if he’s just a convenient body for Kankurou or if there’s a chance they could get drinks in a pet-friendly bar.

He can’t tell Kankurou that he’s smart and smells good and even if it’s weird, the puppets thing is pretty cool.

He can’t ask why Kankurou won’t let Kiba go down on his knees in return even though Kiba really, really wants to.

This is one of those fragile situations where it’s better to be quiet and enjoy the good things before they break.

Kiba sags against the wooden shelves and tries to catch his breath.

If the lights were on, he could openly look and see Kankurou wrapping a hand around himself, his arm moving quickly as he gets himself off.

He’s so close, his breath is hot on Kiba’s cheek.

Kiba could kiss him. If he moved his head just right, Kiba could kiss him.

He doesn’t do that. The whole closet smells like them and, to Kiba’s nose, still will for days. Kiba will have to avoid this part of the building for days longer than that.

Kiba isn’t invited to kiss Kankurou. It’s clear even to him that Kankurou doesn’t want that, and Kiba is trying not to break the rules. He can’t help but reach out and touching Kankurou’s bare chest. His stupid costume can’t come off in pieces, so he has to drop it all the way, and if the light were on, Kiba would be able to see him properly like he wants to.

It’s better than nothing, Kiba reminds himself. Even if Kankurou won’t have him with the light on, even if Kankurou is thinking of someone else, Kiba can have this much.

Kiba’s hand is still on Kankurou’s chest when he comes. They’re mostly facing each other, and without saying anything, Kankurou comes on Kiba’s belly.

Dark as it is, Kankurou can’t know that makes Kiba’s face burn and his heart race. He bites his cheek to keep his mouth shut. No matter what his body wants or hopes Kankurou will let him have, Kiba can’t expect to be dragged into another closet. He can’t make a standing reservation for the one in his bedroom or pretend to joke about thinking they might like to try this on a bed.

In an attempt to clean up, Kankurou rubs at the mess on Kiba’s belly. It’s kind of gross.

Kiba’s going to smell Kankurou on his skin until he takes a long bath and scrubs it away.

He really hates that part.

Finished, Kankurou doesn’t stick around. He yanks his costume up with a muttered “thanks” and makes his escape. He only looks directly forward, into the light as he opens the door and ducks out. He leaves Kiba and the closet without looking back so he won't have to see what the light would show.

He can pretend nothing happened, because unlike Kiba, Kankurou can’t see in the dark.


	2. Chapter 2

Gaara lays his head in Temari’s lap and closes his eyes. She runs her fingers through his hair, silently waiting for him to tell her what happened.

He doesn’t want to tell her; talking like this is new, and he doesn’t want to be who he is now. It was better when he didn’t sleep, when he was unloved and unattached to anyone. He wants to be twelve again, and he wants to stop himself when Rock Lee hits the floor for the last time. He doesn’t want to see Might Guy interfere. He doesn’t want to hear that Lee is precious. He doesn’t want to fight Konoha. He doesn’t want Naruto to slam their foreheads together and claw his way across the grass because Naruto loves his friends and is stronger than Gaara.

He wants Temari to leave him behind.

He wants Lee to smile and wave at someone else.

“Am I better now?” he asks Temari’s knees.

“Better?” she echoes. “Better than you were when you didn’t love us?”

Gaara nods.

She stops running her fingers through his hair and jabs his side. “Of course you are. I don’t know what you’re upset about, but that’s the stupidest question I’ve ever heard.”

“How can you know that?”

“Because you’re my brother again.” She moves her fingers again. “Kankurou and I were old enough to remember you before… everything. We were scared of you when all you wanted to do was kill people, but I always hoped you’d come back. Kankurou didn’t think you would, but I know he hoped for it. And you did.”

Her voice is thick, and Gaara remembers carving love into his forehead.

“You came back, Gaara, and now you’re Suna’s great kazekage. The next generation is being born. More and more of Suna doesn’t remember that being protected by you wasn’t a guarantee. To the genin, you’re an odd man, but so is Kankurou, you know? And neither of you is as weird as the Konoha shinobi.”

Despite himself, Gaara lets out a breath that might be a laugh.

“See?” Temari’s voice is still thick, but he can hear her smiling. “Even if you never have children of your own, you have Suna. You’ll be Uncle Gaara to my children and Kankurou’s if he ever figures out how to play nice, and those children will always love you. I want that for them, and I want it for you, too. Let the old you finish dying. This is who you really are.”

In the back of his mind, Gaara disagrees. He didn’t stop existing when the Tailed Beast was rampaging inside him. He was himself when he killed people.

He was himself when he wasn’t a good person.

Temari will just argue if he says that, so he keeps it to himself.

Instead, he asks, “Do you think you’ll have children with Shikamaru?”

She doesn’t answer, and he can’t tell what she’s thinking. When he shifts onto his back so he can see her face, she’s blushing and looking at the far wall.

“It’s… complicated.”

“Because he’s from Konoha?”

“Partly.” She lets her head fall back against the wall and groans. “We could figure that out, though.”

“Then what’s else is there?”

“I don’t like the way he talks sometimes. It’s hard to tell how much of his complaining is just a habit and how much is real. Even if all of it is just a habit, which I doubt, children pick up on things like that… I don’t want my children to dislike me, you know?”

Her voice cracks and disappears, and as Gaara stares up at her, completely at a loss, a tear rolls down her cheek.

It doesn’t fall alone.

Gaara doesn’t know what to make of his sister like this. Temari doesn’t cry, but now she is.

Gaara takes her hand that isn’t absently stroking his hair in his. “I can't make him treat you better, but I can send him out to work with Lee and the Academy students.”

That makes her laugh, as he’d hoped it would.

He has to close his eyes against the memory of Lee’s face as Gaara ran away, but he owes Temari. He hurt her for years; he can bear to hurt himself for her now.

“He’d be miserable, and Lee would definitely yell at him if he complained about women.” Temari chuckles. “A shinobi who had to earn his place like Lee did wouldn’t be cruel like that. He really is a good man, Gaara. I’m glad you have him.”

Gaara doesn’t answer, and Temari makes a soft noise of sympathy. “Something happened with Lee, didn’t it?”

He nods, eyes still firmly shut.

“Do you want to talk about-”

The door flies open, and their brother marches in, fresh from the shower. “Konoha shinobi!” he growls. “Why do they have to- Oh, Gaara. I didn’t notice you.”

“Come here,” Temari calls to him. “We’ve all got problems with Konoha shinobi today.”

“I bet I can solve both of your problems,” Kankurou says as he climbs onto the bed with them, settling grumpily with one foot on Gaara’s belly. “Temari, you should find someone better. I don’t know how you put up with that attitude or that hairstyle. Gaara, I don’t know what happened with Lee, but he’s head over heels in love with you. Just talk to him and everything will be fine.”

“Oh? And where's the sage advice for your own love life?” Temari asks. “Why should we believe you when you’ve had to bathe twice today and are still in a huff?”

She sounds more affectionate than annoyed, and Gaara is reminded that Temari and Kankurou have years of friendship he wasn’t part of.

They pulled him in, though. Gaara isn’t allowed to think he isn’t invited now- Kankurou sat on him the one time Gaara tried to insist he should let them talk on their own, and Temari threatened to pour syrup in Gaara’s gourd.

“I,” Kankurou says loudly, “should find someone else to love. Someone who actually loves me back. There you go. Good advice all around.”

“He’s still pretending we don’t know that he likes Kiba?" Gaara asks, opening his eyes.

Temari sighs heavily. “He skulks around less-used hallways, disappears without warning only to pop back up covered in dog fur, and thinks he’s being sneaky. It’s kind of embarrassing.”

“There are dogs in Suna!” Kankurou protests. He pokes Gaara with his foot. “Normal dogs- you remember those, don’t you?”

“Is that why Kiba turns red when he sees you?” Gaara asks. “Is he offended that you pet dogs kept on leashes?”

Kankurou glares at him. “Listen here, you-”

“He doesn’t even have to see Kankurou,” Temari interrupts. “I was talking to him the other day when his nose twitched and he started turning red. Guess who walked in a moment later.”

“Shut up!”

Temari laughs. “Oh, come on. It’s sort of cute, in a creepy way.”

Gaara nods. “Dogs have a very keen sense of smell. Does he scent you? Does he-”

“Gaara, don’t,” Temari interrupts. “I don’t know what you're going to say, but whatever the answer is, it's definitely too creepy.”

“Shut up!” Kankurou is kneeling now upright, index finger pointed at Temari. “You, sister dearest, are in love with a lazy weirdo who wants to be an old man. And you,” he continues, moving his hand to point at Gaara, “my treacherous little brother, love a kindly, energetic meathead with a bowl cut. And both of these men dress horribly.”

He’s joking, but Gaara clenches his jaw and closes his eyes.

“Good work, asshole!” Temari snaps. “He was finally starting to smile!”

“What? I thought we were airing grievances! He was supposed to laugh!”

“What grievances would Gaara be airing about Lee? They haven’t even kissed yet!”

“We have,” Gaara corrects reflexively.

“The two of them are-” Temari stops. “You what?”

“Last time they were here, Lee kissed me right before you threw the door open.”

Kankurou laughs. “You interrupted his first kiss? Temari… You’re so much worse.”

“Kankurou,” Temari grits, “this isn’t the time.”

“Isn’t it?” Kankurou shifts closer. “Knowing Gaara and that idiot, whatever upset our brother has something to do with kissing Lee this time. As the better sibling, I put that together on my own. I’m right, aren’t I, Gaara?”

Despite wishing he weren't here, Gaara agrees.

“Following this logic- Don't glare at me when I’m helping him, Temari. He’s too embarrassed to admit what happened. I can’t be embarrassed, so I’m going to explain what happened.”

“Obviously,” Temari drawls. “If you could experience embarrassment, you wouldn’t flagrantly push your dog boyfriend into the closest closet every time you see him. Oh, wait. You’re actually neglecting your work just to pet other people’s dogs.”

Kankurou sighs. “Fine, I like Kiba. Are you happy?”

“Not really. He isn’t fashionable either, Kankurou.”

“He wears face paint. That’s always good style.”

“Not first thing in the morning when you look like a-”

 _“Anyway,_ it’s clear that Gaara and Lee did a little more than kiss, and when Gaara tried to undress Lee a little, he saw Lee’s scars from their fight and ran out.”

His voice softens by the end, and the pressure on Gaara’s knee must be Kankurou’s hand.

“Of the three of us, your situation is the easiest and the hardest to fix,” Kankurou continues. “Easiest because Lee listens. Hardest because you’ll have to address this quickly or he’ll try to say he messed up and you’ll feel even worse for accidentally making him think he did.”

Kankurou pats Gaara’s knee and Temari ruffles his hair.

Temari finishes what Kankurou began. “Lee isn’t trying to fix you, Gaara. He’s just trying to love you. You should let him.”

Gaara wants to say something- to thank his brother, to argue, to say he wants Lee to be happy- but all he can do is nod.

The three of them sit together quietly for a long time.

Temari is the one who breaks the silence.

“Kankurou, you know I love you.”

“I do, yeah.”

“So you understand that when I tell you that saying you know all that because you’re a good brother is bullshit, it comes from a place of love?”

Kankurou laughs so hard the bed shakes.

The mattress shifts as he moves away, still laughing, and Gaara opens his eyes to watch his brother laugh so hard he has to wipe tears from his eyes.

“I take it back,” he wheezes. “Being with Shikamaru did at least make you more perceptive.”

“How do you really know what happened?” Temari asks.

“Your boyfriend needed help finding chairs he could take to the training area. I helped him with that. Lee was the only one out there, and he was practicing like an idiot, so I stuck around.”

Gaara sits up abruptly, but Kankurou puts a hand on his chest. “I wanted to know if I had to hit him for hurting my brother. Once I heard enough to figure out that he hadn’t, I stuck around to keep people away while the two of them talked it out.”

“Thank you,” Gaara rasps.

“I really can be a good brother sometimes, you know.”

Temari reaches over and ruffles Kankurou’s hair like she had with Gaara. “You’re usually a good brother,” she says affectionately. “Now you’re going to tell me what else you left out.”

“Oh, that’s easy. Lee is definitely on his way. He doesn’t know where your bedroom is, Temari, and I doubt he asked Shikamaru to tell him.”

“Kankurou!”

Gaara draws a sharp breath in.

As if summoned, there’s a tentative knock on the door. Gaara can feel Lee’s chakra signature on the other side.

“That’s our signal to head out, I guess,” Temari says. She leans in and kisses Gaara’s cheek. “You’ll be fine.”

“Sorry for surprising you, but if I’d told you he was coming earlier, you would have worried even longer.” Kankurou shrugs. “Talk to him, okay? Unlike us, he’ll listen.”

The two of them get to their feet, and without asking if Gaara is ready, they open the door to Lee.

Kankurou speaks first. “Let me guess. You’re looking for Gaara.”

“I am,” Lee tells him.

“Good timing,” Temari says. We were just on our way out.” She looks over her shoulder and smiles. “Gaara, Lee’s here! Are you free?”

Swallowing hard, Gaara nods. “He can come in.”

Lee does, and Gaara’s siblings close the door behind him.

“Sorry for coming here unannounced,” Lee says. “Can we talk?”

* * *

“They’ll work it out, won’t they?” Temari asks as she and Kankurou walk away.

Kankurou snorts. “Of course they will. Why are you even asking that?”

Temari shrugs. “Is it so strange to worry about our brother?”

“It’s strange to worry about Rock Lee breaking our brother’s heart,” Kankurou points out. Usually Temari doesn’t need reassurance like this. “Is something wrong?”

She shrugs. “Nothing really.”

Kankurou fights a groan and comes to a stop. “So yes, there is. Let me guess: you’re worried about Shikamaru.”

Temari stops, too. “I just don’t understand why he complains about me so much.”

She sounds like she’s about to cry, and Kankurou’s fists clench. Temari seems like the strongest of them, but she's the oldest. She carries the most worries and has been for the longest time. Shikamaru should be easing them, not adding to the pile.

“Well,” he says slowly, “if I were you, I’d tell him to fix his attitude or you’ll find someone who isn’t a prick.”

“Kankurou!”

“What? You’ve said it yourself- he talks down to you.” He shrugs. “If you really think it’s a habit he can break, tell him he’s hurting you. If he doesn’t stop, then you’ll know he really is all talk.”

Temari doesn’t answer for a long time, and Kankurou doesn’t push her. She’s thinking, and that’s all he needs her to do.

Her vice is small when she finally admits, “I really like him, Kankurou. I don’t want him to hurt me.”

“Isn’t he already hurting you?”

“That’s-"

“Everyone talks about how much heart shinobi in Konoha have, but nobody brings up how reckless they are with other people’s.” Sighing, Kankurou shakes his head. “Everyone knows that in the desert, you can’t wear heavy armor or you’ll die. What outsiders forget is that when night falls, so does the temperature. If all you have are the clothes you wore when the sun was out, you’ll freeze to death.”

“Is this going somewhere?” Temari asks.

“Just some insight into your future happiness, but if you want me to stop…?”

She shakes her head.

“Good. Now, life is like the desert. You’re used to the heat- wars, death, saving the world. So you walk around without much armor because you can take it on your own. We’re old enough now and the world is calm enough that night and things you can’t fight have come. You’re scared, and instead of keeping you warm, your boyfriend is off on his own, wrapped up in his blankets and thinking about how pretty the moon is.”

The look on Temari’s face says she thinks he’s talking about himself more than Shikamaru, and maybe he is.

Even if that’s the case, he’s still right.

“I just want you to be happy, Temari,” Kankurou tells her. “You’re annoying, but there’s only room for one unloved person in this family, and the position’s already been taken.”

Her face contorts. “Kankurou-”

“Forget it. Just promise me you won’t settle for some half-assed promise to be better.”

“Kankurou, please."

“Promise me or I’ll reenact your seventh birthday.”

For a moment, she glares at him, but it doesn’t last. “I promise- but you have to promise me you won’t just sit there alone and let yourself freeze to death in the night, okay?”

“I promise!” He grins at her. “Haven’t you seen how I dress? I’m all set.”

He walks away before she can argue with him.

* * *

Temari watches Kankurou saunter off with a sinking feeling.

_I don’t know what you’re thinking, but please be careful, Kankurou…_

Whatever her brother is doing with Kiba doesn’t seem to be making either of them actually happy, but Temari couldn’t even get him to admit something’s been happening. He stopped opening up when Gaara carved that word on his forehead.

Gaara can be stubborn, but he isn’t naturally self-destructive.

Kankurou, though… It isn’t a coincidence that he’s good with puppets. Puppets don’t push him. They don’t talk, and they can’t misunderstand. Kankurou is terrible at listening. He’ll take a seed of doubt and grow a forest.

“Everything okay?” Shikamaru asks.

Temari startles, so absorbed in her brother’s troubles she hadn’t heard him coming.

She doesn’t need to be questioning their relationship right now. A new world is coming into being, Temari is helping one of her brothers guide Suna into a brighter future, both brothers are stumbling through being in love, and Shikamaru…

Shikamaru is distracting.

“I’m fine,” she says shortly. She doesn’t mean to say it like that, but Kankurou’s promise won’t leave her head. “Just busy.”

He raises his brows at her. “You know, if you keep frowning like that, you’re going to get wrinkles.”

It’s a common joke.

Yesterday, a woman two years her junior interrupted Temari’s argument for allocating more money to Suna’s Academy to ask if Temari realizes that shouting will make her wrinkle prematurely.

“If you’re so worried about me getting wrinkles, find another woman,” Temari snaps. “There are plenty of younger ones running around.”

“That isn’t- Temari!”

Angry and embarrassed, she turns around and walks away.

Shikamaru doesn’t follow her.

There's her answer.

When she gets outside, she lets herself cry. Everything is complicated. The world is supposed to be better now, but it isn’t. Being at war was simple; the strategies they came up with weren’t expected to last indefinitely. Peace comes with an ocean of questions no one can answer.

Clouds roll across the sun, and Temari hates that one of them looks like two hands making the Rat hand sign.

A lazy pain in the ass from Konoha doesn’t have any right to be the reason she cries when she’s holding up the weight of her village, but she can only be hated on so many sides.


	3. Chapter 3

Gaara shifts to the edge of Temari’s bed and swings his legs over. Sitting up properly, he can face Lee.

Lee, who hasn’t taken more than two steps into the room.

“It’s going to be difficult to talk if you stand all the way over there,” Gaara points out. “You should come closer.”

Lee smiles. It’s tentative, but there’s no mistaking it.

_ I don’t hold grudges. _

What kind of person can do that?

Instead of sitting on the bed like Gaara thought he would, Lee drops onto the floor between Gaara’s ankles. He crosses his legs and looks up with another, steadier smile.

Uncomfortable, Gaara looks at the spot between Lee’s thick eyebrows. Lee doesn’t try to look the way the people around him think he should. He’s happy to throw on the green jumpsuit that matches his beloved teacher’s, and he’s happy wearing the clothes he was given Suna.

His shiny bowl cut and loud expressions of joy are endearing.

Gaara can’t figure out why he’s so drawn to such a strange guy, but with Lee looking at him happily, he can’t concentrate on that.

“I meant on the bed, Lee.”

Lee’s eyebrows pull together. “I can sit there if you’d like, but I’d prefer to stay here.”

Swallowing, Gaara nods. “Then you should stay there.”

Lee’s smile returns, and guilt twists in Gaara’s chest.

“Kankurou said you talked to Shikamaru.”

“I did.” Lee says it firmly, only to frown a moment later. “Was that wrong?”

_ He’s too kind,  _ Gaara thinks.  _ Learn to hold a grudge. _

He shakes his head. “It’s fine. My brother likes to listen in doorways. He says it’s a good way to keep up with gossip.”

“That does sound like him,” Lee agrees.

His hands are folded in his lap. They’re wrapped, as they always are. Gaara’s wondered for years if Lee has always done that or if it’s a habit he picked up while learning the Lotus.

“Shikamaru said you probably left because you were upset about my scars. The ones from our fight, that is.”

“You don’t show your arms or your legs,” Gaara explains. “I’d… I hadn’t forgotten, but…”

“You’d never seen them before. They’re a bit startling, right?”

Gaara nods.

Lee’s smile doesn’t falter. “The Fifth Hokage really did a lot to help me. It was hard on her, but she saved my body. She’s really impressive!”

“Lee…”

“The scars don’t hurt.”

Gaara thinks back to the first time someone hit him, Lee’s foot coming down from above and setting Gaara’s face on fire. He thinks about ache in his forehead where he tried to seal love. “That’s impossible.”

Lee shakes his head, earnest. “They really don’t. I have a special oil that I use every night that keeps the scar tissue from building up and getting stiff. Well, I don’t really have to use it anymore, but it’s good for relaxing after a long day. It smells really nice!”

Leaning forward, Gaara reaches for the arm he remembers breaking. He stops before he touches it, uncertain. “You aren’t lying, are you, Lee?”

“Nope!” Lee lifts his arm, taking Gaara’s hand in his. “You can check it if you’d like.”

“You don’t have to.”

“You’ll see eventually, right? If we, ah, pick up where we left off? But that’s only if you want to do that!”

Lee’s face turns bright red, and Gaara leans farther forward so he can bump their foreheads together.

“You don’t hold grudges,” Gaara tells him.

“I don’t hold grudges,” Lee agrees.

“That’s dangerous, you know.”

Lee laughs softly. “Is it? So far, it’s only brought me good things.”

Straightening up with a cough, Gaara looks down at Lee and their hands. “I saw your scars and all I could think about was that I left them. I would have killed you twice over without Guy’s interference. I don’t know how to change that, and I don’t know if I should.”

“I can’t tell you if you should, but if you want to try, I have an idea.” At Gaara’s curious look, Lee taps his shoulder. “It’s not so bad here, and the massage really does help.”

“You… want me to rub oil on you?”

Lee turns bright red again. “I wasn’t- That isn’t what I meant!”

Gaara squeezes his hand. “That was a joke, Lee. It’s a good idea.”

“Really?”

“Why are you so surprised? It’s your idea.”

“I wasn’t sure you’d like it. But you do!”

Shaking his head, Gaara marvels again at the man who loves him. It’s fortunate for Gaara that so few people understand that Lee’s the best of them. If they did, someone else would be lifting Lee’s chin and kissing him.

Gaara doesn’t mean for anything else to happen. He just wants to kiss Lee, so he does.

He forgot that Lee doesn’t know how not to chase what he likes, and he likes being with Gaara.

The kiss Gaara intends to be one quick peck becomes two. Two becomes three, and three becomes four.

Four becomes Lee leaning back and pulling Gaara with him onto the floor.

Lying on the floor becomes five, six…

Gaara loses track. Lee’s hands are on his back again, and he’s grinning up at Gaara.

“Hey, Gaara, you know what else I thought about?”

Gaara shakes his head.

“We don’t have to get naked every time, right?”

“Lee!”

“What? If you don’t see the scars, you can focus on other things like this, right?”

Lee shifts one of his hands and squeezes Gaara’s ass, and Gaara has to bite his tongue.

“It’s good, right?” Lee asks.

His voice is uncertain, and Gaara nods quickly. He’s never gotten this far with anyone. Before Lee, he’d never gotten as far as kissing them.

The idea of telling Lee that is mortifying. “It’s good,” he promises.

He kisses Lee before Lee can say anything else, and it’s easy for Gaara to move his leg between Lee’s.

Lee’s hand squeezes harder, and Gaara can’t help rolling his hips.

Lee pants, and under Gaara’s hand, his heart is pounding.

“It’s good, right?” Gaara asks.

Lee laughs. His eyes are soft as he leans up and kisses Gaara. “It’s good,” he says against Gaara’s lips.

He keeps talking, and Gaara hears every word, but it’s difficult to concentrate on them when he can feel how hard Lee is and Gaara’s hard and Gaara isn’t alone in any of this.

Lee moans against Gaara’s mouth, and Gaara’s heart stutters.

They’re still dressed when Gaara comes. He tries to be quiet, but he knows he isn’t.

Lee hums and kisses Gaara’s cheek.

“Sorry,” Gaara tells his shoulder.

“Why?” Lee tilts his head. “Our clothes? We should probably pull them away at least a little next time.”

“No, I-” Gaara freezes. “Lee, did you-”

Lee grins at him. “Sorry, but I beat you to it, I guess!”

_ This isn’t the way it’s supposed to go,  _ Gaara thinks distantly. Lee isn’t supposed to be smiling like he’s never been happier. Gaara isn’t supposed to be smiling like he’s never been happier.

“This carpet is surprisingly soft,” Lee tells him, running a hand over it.

Gaara follows his hand for a moment, not realizing what’s wrong until he does.

“We need to go. Right now.”

Lee frowns but obediently gets up. “What’s wrong?”

Gaara grabs his hand and power walks them out of the room and shuts the door.

“Gaara?”

“That’s my sister’s room,” Gaara hisses as he drags Lee through the building. “I got so caught up, I forgot. Don’t smile!” Gaara tries to convey the severity of the danger they’re in, but Lee only smiles harder. “Do you know how long she holds a grudge?”

“Very long?”

“Why are you  _ still _ smiling?”

They reach Gaara’s room, and Lee pulls him into a hug.

“I’m just happy you like me,” he tells the top of Gaara’s head. “I really like you, you know?”

_ He’s too earnest.  _

“Try to remember that in the coming days,” Gaara grumbles but wraps his arms around Lee as he says it. “I’m glad I like you, too.”

The hug could keep going, but Gaara pulls back.

“I need to change,” he explains reluctantly. “I can’t stay in these clothes any longer.”

Lee laughs until he realizes he’s stuck in his.

* * *

“Temari.”

“Go away.”

Shikamaru sighs. “What if I don’t want to?”

“What if I hit you?” Temari snaps without looking at him. It wouldn’t have worked even if she had; she’s still crying, so it comes out like a sob. “Don’t. Please, Shikamaru.”

“I haven’t said anything yet,” he points out.

“You don’t have to. I know I’m being noisy, so you can go now.”

He sighs, and Temari clenches her fist. She doesn’t want to hit him. She doesn’t even want him to go away. She’s too tired to take care of someone else.

Ignoring her, Shikamaru sits down next to her. “I guess you’re right about me,” he says. “I’m not much of a man, am I?”

Temari lets out a shaky breath. “This really isn’t-”

“You’ve been unhappy for a while. I thought maybe you were just stressed. You’ve been working hard, and it’s weird work. The Daimyō should be handling more of it, but there are things shinobi have to do ourselves. It’s a pain, right?”

Wiping at her face, Temari asks, “What do you want, Shikamaru?”

“I want you to be happy. I want our kids to know we’re happy together.”

“Did Kankurou talk to you?”

“Not directly. But maybe?” Temari frowns at him, too exhausted to follow, and Shikamaru scratches the back of his neck. “I heard you guys in the hall.”

Temari tenses. “Why?”

“I wanted to check on Lee and Gaara. Well, I was hoping I’d get to see you, too…”

“Why?”

His face flushes. “You know why.”

“Ah.”

_ Of course that’s what he wants. _

“Temari- Hey, it isn’t like that. I mean, it is, but I missed you. I rearranged my schedule, so I have the rest of the day off. I figured I’d see if you wanted to eat together.” He coughs. “Like I said, I missed you. There’s a good roof in the village where you can watch the clouds.”

“You know we’d get baked alive after ten minutes, right?”

“Then we can grab a blanket and look at the stars later!”

_ His voice is rising, _ Temari realizes.  _ He’s actually bothered about this.  _

“I don’t want you to feel like you’re alone. Your brother’s right- as your boyfriend, I’m supposed to help you.”

Temari risks a glance over at Shikamaru. He looks miserable.

“You mean that, don’t you?”

He nods. “I can’t change everything, Temari. I’m a lazy guy. I’d rather be watching the clouds than doing anything else, but it would be nice if you were there, too. Not every time, but, you know, most of them.”

One of their first dates was watching clouds in Shikamaru’s favorite spot. Temari hadn’t loved his choice when he told her. She’d rather be moving than lying around idly, and it seemed like a bad omen that he was already just dragging her along to whatever he wanted to do. But she went.

Shikamaru’s laziness hadn’t been so frustrating that time. He’d found all sorts of weird things in the clouds and pointed them out to her, and Temari had laughed more that afternoon she had in years. He’d smiled after coming up with a convoluted description of an ordinary cloud, and he’d still been smiling when she kissed him.

The only time he’d said something was a pain was at the end when Chōji came to tell them Naruto needed Shikamaru.

“I’m not good at being lazy,” Temari admits, “but if I’m going to try, I want to watch the clouds with you.”

She holds out her hand, and Shikamaru takes it in his.

It isn’t until their fingers twine together that she realizes how long it’s been since they held hands.

“You have the rest of the day?” she asks.

He nods. “Yeah. The rest of the week is going to be crazy, but it was going to be that way anyway.”

“If I move some things, I can take two hours off this afternoon. And I can be done by nine.”

Shikamaru stares at her. “Are you saying…”

“I miss my boyfriend.”

He smiles, so Temari kisses him.

“Who knows how long Gaara and Lee will need, so let’s meet in your room,” she says. “This is still my lunch break. The next two meetings can’t be moved, but I’ll come see you at three. Okay?”

His smile gets wider.

“What?”

“Nothing.” He shakes his head. “I was just thinking that you’re cute.”

Temari‘s face heats; “cute” isn’t a way people describe her.

“Okay,” she says briskly, ignoring the growing smile on Shikamaru’s face. “Three o’clock, Shikamaru. Don’t be late.”

“I won’t,” he promises.

Temari has to fight with more bureaucrats and diplomats than she has fingers, but when three o’clock arrives, she’s at Shikamaru’s door.

It swings open, and when she steps through, she almost doesn’t recognize it.

“You cleaned?”

“I had some time to kill,” Shikamaru tells her. He’s the one who’s red-faced this time, and Temari tugs him close so she can kiss him.

He puts his hands on her waist, and the tension in Temari’s chest eases as she looks up at him.

“I’ve really missed you, you know.”

Shikamaru nods. “Two hours… we can start to make up for lost time.”

Temari nods and starts pushing Shikamaru backwards to the bed.

His eyes skitter away, though, and Temari watches him clench his jaw.

“Right,” he says. “Let’s do what we usually do.”

_ That’s the wrong voice. _

She stops pushing. “What’s wrong?”

He doesn’t look at her. “Temari, please. I’m good at this part, right? Let me do this.”

“You’re very good at this part.” She touches his cheek. “I told you why I was unhappy. Now it’s your turn.”

“I’m fine. Can’t we just-”

“I’m not happy if you’re not happy.”

He refuses to look back at her, and Temari has to force herself not to try to make him talk.

“You missed me, right?” he asks after too long. “All of me?”

“Of course.”

“But you said it yourself- you don’t like my attitude. What else is left of me?”

_ He really is bad at this, isn’t he? _

“I don’t like when you call me annoying,” she corrects, trying to be gentle. “I do like that you take care of people because you choose to. I like how loyal you are. I like that you’re funny when you want to be.” Taking a deep breath, she adds, “I like watching you try not to fall over in the shower in the morning. You make a funny face when someone’s been talking for too long. You have a habit of finding me at every party and not leaving it until we go home. Even that dumb pose you make when you’re thinking is cute.”

He really shouldn’t get embarrassed so easily now, but his ears are bright red.

Temari kisses his cheek. “You’re a genius; you could find someone else if you wanted me. Pushy women like me have to hope we can find someone who tolerates us. I like you, Shikamaru. I don’t want you to hate me.”

Shikamaru sighs. “How am I supposed to feel like a good man when you’re asking me not to hate you?”

“Oh, my apologies.”

“Well, maybe dating a loud woman isn’t the worst thing.”

“Don’t think that setting the bar that low will mean I’m dropping my standards.”

“I won’t,” he says around a smile. “Does this mean we can get back to what we were doing or…?”

Shikamaru takes a step toward the bed, and Temari is thinking about finally having enough time with him without having to rush when an idea occurs to her.

“Hey, Shikamaru?”

“Yeah?”

“Can we try something a little different this time?”

His forehead crinkles, but he shrugs. “I don’t know why you want to try something new now, but sure, I guess.”

Flat on his back, wrists pinned above his head by Temari’s hands, Shikamaru doesn’t try to act cool.

“I was wrong the whole time,” he rasps. “You’re the genius.”

Temari shakes her head, but she can’t stop smiling. Seeing Shikamaru from above is a novelty, but she’s more interested in the way he’s looking up.

“There aren’t any clouds for you to watch,” she tells him, “but maybe we can paint some on my ceiling.”

“I’d never see them,” Shikamaru blurts. His cheeks turn pink. “Am I supposed to notice anything other than you?”

Heart beating so loud it hurts, Temari leans down and kisses him. “Nope! Just me.”

“You’re really okay with letting me be lazy, huh?”

He’s smiling, and Temari kisses him again.

In the end, as good as it is to be on top and make Shikamaru wait, it isn’t what she wants right now. She rolls them over gently, pulling Shikamaru up so he’s lying on top of her.

Shikamaru fucks her gently. His face furrows in concentration, and she can’t help but reach up and touch his cheek.

“Don’t look so worried.”

“Worried?” he pants. “Temari, I’m trying not to come before you do.”

“You could try talking a little. That always helps.”

He makes a face Temari won’t tell him is an adorable pout. “I’m not- You know I’m no good at that kind of thing.”

“If you were, I wouldn’t tell you I like it.”

“Temari,” he whines, and she laughs, happy and light.

“Stop worrying and kiss me.”

He manages one of the two on his own and doesn’t get the other one until she moves one of his hands down and he makes her come with his thumb on her clit.

He comes quickly after that, sweaty and handsome and adoring, and when he collapses on top of her, Temari gently pulls his hair free. It’s always so soft, she can’t help wanting to touch it, and he likes when she play.

She’s petting him and idly considering whether he’d let her braid it when she realizes he’s trembling.

“Shikamaru?”

“It’s nothing.”

“Don’t start lying now.” She tilts his head up, and there’s a tear running down his face. “Shikamaru?”

“I was going to do this right,” he says with a crooked smile. “You were supposed to be eating at that weird place you like so much, and I was going to kiss you. And then I’d tell you I love you so you’d have a grand gesture to outdo your friends.” He looks away with an unhappy laugh. “Sorry, Temari. I just… I really love you..”

“Hey…”

He blinks and rubs at his eyes, but he’s still red in the face when he says, “I love you.”

Temari abandons his hair so she can hold his face. “I love you, too.”

He closes his eyes, and Temari kisses him softly.

“We have to come up with a lie to tell our children,” he says drowsily some time later. “They’re going to ask, and we can’t tell them this.”

“We can’t?”

“And admit you had to let me do the heavy lifting?” he challenges.

Temari shoves at him, but he rolls over with a laugh. “I’ll find some blankets while you’re working,” he says, eyes dancing. “If we can’t watch the clouds, we can at least watch the stars.”

Temari busses a kiss to his forehead. “It’s a date.”

* * *

_ This is going to blow up in my face. _

Kiba can see in the dark.

Kankurou knows that. Everybody knows dogs can see in the dark, and Kiba’s got all the enhanced senses dogs have. Kankurou’s a smart guy; he can put two and two together.

His current plan belies that, but love makes fools of even the wisest men and all that.

_ It’s not a great sign that my little brother who had a monster sealed in his head is better at love than I am. _

They’re in a closet closer to Kankurou’s room than he should risk. Akamaru is decidedly not invited, but Kiba’s never had to make a point of telling his dog that closet time is for men only.

This one is just as dark as all the rest. Kankurou can’t see anything, but he’s sure Kiba has his eyes closed.

When they first got here, Kankurou had pushed him against the wall like he always does and got down on his knees like he always does, tugging at Kiba’s pants and pushing away his jacket. Kiba had already been getting hard like always, and Kankurou had gone down on him while Kiba scratched at the wall like he always does.

Kankurou hadn’t let Kiba come, though. His hands shook as he pulled away, 

“Something new,” Kankurou had said briskly as he shed his costume. The less he talks, the less of Kiba’s illusion he’ll destroy. From a pocket, he’d pulled out a bottle and tossed it to Kiba.“I know how big you are, so I did most of the work. You just have to put some on yourself and touch me a little.”

He’d expected some sort of argument. Kiba’s one of the most stubborn shinobi Kankurou has had to work with.

Stubborn, stupid, and kind.

He should be annoying, but that’s the problem with Konoha. It keeps making impossible shinobi for Suna’s shinobi to fall in love with.

Gaara got Lee.

Temari got Shikamaru.

Kankurou got this guy, and he isn’t even mad about it.

He’s mad that he knows Kiba’s type. He’s mad that he fell in love on his own. He’s mad that Kiba offered to help him get off and keeps looking at Kankurou like he’s waiting for Kankurou to give him something.

This is all Kankurou has left that still lies within the realm of things Kiba can pretend are happening with the Hyuuga girl Naruto married.

Kiba was supposed to argue against what Kankurou was saying they should do because this is the flimsiest cover Kankurou has ever devised. Kiba isn’t actually stupid; he’s just better at thinking on his feet than planning.

If ever there were a situation when Kiba should be shining, it’s now, when Kankurou needs him to just admit he’s in love with Naruto’s wife and this was nice but he’s got other plans.

Kiba isn’t doing that, and if he has to fuck Kankurou to figure it out, then that’s what he has to do.

_ Hopefully this won’t destroy our alliance,  _ Kankurou thinks wildly. He’s itching for something to happen. Kiba’s taking his sweet time, and only the knowledge that he’s supposed to be making himself a blank slate keeps Kankurou from complaining.

The top of the bottle clicks, Kiba comes closer, and finally, Kankurou gets what he’s been after for years.

It’s hard to keep quiet. He bites the inside of his cheek, but Kiba adds a second finger and a third, and despite his best intentions, Kankurou is pushing his hips back into him and fighting the wish that they could leave the light on.

Kiba seems content just to touch Kankurou like this, and in another life, Kankurou would be, too. In this life, where he’s got a policy against letting himself linger with Kiba, he risks speaking again, just long enough to say, “Get going.”

Again, Kiba should ask questions but doesn’t.

_ Why?  _ Kankurou thinks.  _ What is he thinking? Why is he so quiet now, when I need to hear him talk? I just want one memory of him like this. _

Kankurou could be anybody. Kiba should be able to pretend, just for a little while, but he’s keeping quiet, too, pushing into Kankurou and fucking him too gently.

_ You’ll hurt me more if you’re careful with me. _

“Come on,” Kankurou tries not to beg. “Just pretend to- Hurry up, would you? It’s fine!”

Kiba mumbles something, finally showing some sign of life, but he does what Kankurou tells him to do.

Kankurou gets close faster than he wants to. He tries to hold off, but Kiba reaches around and wrapped a slick hand around Kankurou without being asked. Kankurou can’t find the strength to tell Kiba not to ruin his hard work.

He’s so caught up in the feeling of having Kiba pressed against his back, he doesn’t immediately realize the wetness on his shoulder isn’t sweat.

_ This was inevitable. He could have avoided acknowledging this is me if he’d kept his paws to himself. _

Swallowing hard, Kankurou says, “Kiba.”

“Sorry,” Kiba mumbles. “I’m sorry.”

He lets go of Kankurou and pulls out, his footsteps unsteady as he backs away.

Kankurou can hear him sniffling. The sound is worse than getting hit in the kidney.

_ This is my fault. _

There’s a rustle of fabric, and Kankurou knows Kiba too well to think he’s running away. Even in the dark, Kankurou can see Kiba sinking to the floor.

“Hey! Kiba.”

Guilt roiling in his stomach, Kankurou shuffles closer until he can kneel in front of Kiba.

“I’m sorry,” Kiba says again, his voice small. “I can’t. I’m sorry, but it’s too much.”

In the silence that follows, Kankurou’s heartbeat is loud in his ears.

“Yeah,” he says quietly. His own voice is shaking, and he shakes his head, trying to clear it enough that he can try to fix some of what he broke. “Yeah, I know it is. I’m sorry about that. This is on me, okay? I overreached.”

He doesn’t try to touch Kiba; that’s what got them into this in the first place. It takes some fumbling to find the light switch, and as much as Kankurou wants to run, he says, “Keep your eyes closed. I’m going to turn on the light.”

He turns the light on, and as expected, Kiba is sitting on the floor with his knees drawn up, his pants around his ankles and his face hidden in his arms.

_ Konoha shinobi are reckless with other people, huh? What does that make me? _

“You’re a mess,” Kankurou tells him as kindly as he can. Kiba sniffles anyway, and Kankurou kicks himself. “Hey, hey, don’t start crying. It’s not your fault. It’s mine, remember? I wanted something that wasn’t mine to have. Stop sitting there wanting to apologize, would you? I feel bad enough as it is.”

He’s terrible at being comforting, but Kankurou spots Kiba’s coat and drapes it over his shoulders.

There’s nothing else he can do in the state he’s in, so Kankurou grabs his abandoned costume and steps into it. It feels disgusting. He’s going to have to burn it.

When he looks over, Kiba’s lifted his head and is studying Kankurou. The tears are gone. In their place is confusion.

His head is cocked like a curious dog, and Kankurou hates that it makes him look adorable.

Frowning, Kiba says, “Hey, Kankurou?”

“What?”

“Why did you say you overreached?”

Again, in the silence, Kankurou’s heartbeat is loud.

“I thought I could have you for a little while,” Kankurou admits. He regrets it as soon as he says it; he’s supposed to be getting Kiba on his feet, not excusing himself. He holds up a hand and takes a deep breath. “Forget I said that.”

Instead of forgetting, Kiba frowns harder. “But if you wanted me, why’d you keep the lights off?”

“Kiba.”

“Please.”

Kankurou sighs. You can only get so wet, right? “I didn’t want to see you close your eyes. You’ve got those freaky dog senses, but if you wanted to, you could at least imagine someone else. Are you done?”

“Almost.”

“What could you possibly-”

“I want to keep the lights on.”

Kankurou freezes. “You what?”

“I thought you wanted them off so  _ you _ could think of somebody else.” Kiba shrugs, but he looks embarrassed. “Since I don’t want to think about somebody else and you don’t want to think about somebody else, that means we can keep them on next time, right?”

For a long moment, Kankurou just stares at Kiba.

“Next time,” he says flatly. “You broke down in tears while you were fucking me, but you want a next time.”

“Yeah, ‘cause I thought you didn’t want me,” Kiba grumbles. “Other than that, it was good.”

Kankurou laughs so loudly it hurts.

Kiba glares at him. “What? Why are you laughing?”

“I don’t understand what goes through your head. One minute you’re crying on the floor and the next you’re trying to get laid again.”

“Do you not want to?” Kiba asks.

_ This is ridiculous. Why is he looking at me like that? _

“No, I want to.”  _ Somehow.  _ “It’s just been a while since I talked with you enough to remember how energetic you are. It’s a good thing, though, I think.”

“So we do get to do this again,” Kiba confirms.

Kankurou nods.

“When?”

Kankurou frowns at him. “What?”

“When can we do it again? We didn’t get to finish this time, and we won’t have to wait all that long since I’m staying for a while, right?” At Kankurou’s blank stare, Kiba adds, “And if you aren’t trying to think about somebody else, I can blow you, right? ‘Cause I really want to do that.”

“I couldn’t want a nice, quiet shinobi from Suna.” Kankurou rubs his face. “No, I had to get tangled up with Konoha’s dog idiot.”

He holds out his hand to Kiba, though, and Kiba lets himself be pulled to his feet.

“Hey, Kankurou-”

“If you suggest we try to fuck in here a second time, I will murder you.”

Kiba sighs and follows Kankurou out the door into empty hallway.

_ He actually was going to suggest it. What a one-track mind… _

“I can’t believe this is where I’m at in my life,” Kankurou says, grabbing Kiba by the arm. “I want to do this right, so unless you have something else to do, we’re going to my room and we’re going to leave the lights on. But so help me, Kiba, if you do something weird like howl or try to bring Akamaru with you, I’ll throw you out the window.”

He shouldn’t have said that. He knows it the moment Kiba’s eyes glitter and his mouth curves up in a smile that shows off his sharp eyeteeth.

“Are you sure you don’t want to just do it outside? It’s probably closer, and if you’re talking about doing things ‘right’, then the obvious, natural option seems to be-”

“I know I opened the can of dog joke worms, but right now, I can’t handle the idea of that possibly being a genuine suggestion. So please shut up.”

Kiba does, but Kankurou only manages to take a few steps before he misses the chatter.

“You,” he says, hauling Kiba in, “are going to kiss me.”

Kiba kisses him, and when Kankurou makes the mistake of letting go of him, Kiba puts both hands on Kankurou’s hips. He backs Kankurou up against a wall and kisses his neck.

Last time, Kankurou left a bunch of hickeys on Kiba. He might actually get to see them before they fade.

He doesn’t realize how far they’ve gone until Kiba groans too loudly, riding Kankurou’s thigh like that’s an acceptable thing to do in public.

Kiba tilts his head and looks at Kankurou with those bright, hopeful eyes of his, though, and for a moment, Kankurou can’t think of a reason the two of them shouldn’t come like this.

Kiba palms Kankurou through his costume, and even that almost doesn’t remind him why they aren’t going to get off here.

One of them needs to have some self-control.

“I know what that face means,” Kankurou warns as he pushes Kiba back, “and we are absolutely not fucking in the hallway.”

Kiba shrugs, apparently content despite getting pushed around a bit.

_ That’s new. _

“Can we go to your room?” Kiba asks as Kankurou tries to lead him to the right room for them to get off in. “I really want to blow you, and you just said we aren’t fucking in the hallway. Unless-”

“Yes, we’re going to my room!”

Kankurou doesn’t let Kiba go down on him there, but he does let Kiba do what he wants the second Kankurou shuts the door- which turns out to be carrying Kankurou to the bed, gently removing the disgusting costume, and holding Kankurou’s legs open while Kiba blows him.

Kankurou comes on his belly, and Kiba sucks a hickey below his navel.

By the time Kiba fucks him, Kankurou has covered his neck and chest with enough hickeys to make up for all the ones he couldn’t leave before. He’s covered in his own as well; Kiba took his time fingering him, and he spent every second marking Kankurou up.

“Please don’t make a doggy style joke,” Kiba says between kisses. “I want to see you, and I can’t that way, and I don’t care if it’s dumb or boring because it isn’t, and-”

Kankurou pushes Kiba’s floppy hair back. “Relax. This is good.”

He wants to see Kiba, too.

“People are going to make fun of me,” Kiba complains after, examining his skin in Kankurou’s mirror while Kankurou lounges on his bed, comfortable for the first time in ages. Akamaru is in another area of Kankurou’s rooms, and Kankurou will never be more grateful than he was when Akamaru pointedly didn’t come in until Kiba opened a different door. “Do you know how long I spent laughing at Shikamaru after Temari left  _ one _ hickey on his neck? It wasn’t even that high up.”

“At least two months?”

Kiba sighs. “Four months.”

“You really don’t let things go, do you?”

“Of course not!”

He looks so offended that Kankurou can't help but laugh. “Come back here, would you? I can probably heal them a little.”

Expression mulish, Kiba shakes his head.

“You can’t complain about getting laughed at and refuse to let me help.”

“Why not?”

Kankurou stares at Kiba for a long time.

“I can’t believe I like you.”

“I can’t believe I like  _ you.” _

“Shut up. I’m a catch.”

The silence is suspicious. Kankurou looks up just in time to see Kiba flying through the air.

“You  _ asshole,” _ is the last thing he says before Kiba lands and Kankurou is forcibly no longer lounging.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come say hi on [tumblr](https://asotin.tumblr.com) if you'd like to!


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